Season 1 Round-ups: Onion Terror & Strathcarnage

Game World Cup runners up, 4th place in the 1st season of qualifying, lots of money and Simon Vukcevic in the bank, 58% Montenegrin - things worked out quite well for the brave battlers of FK Strathcarnage in the first season. However, the headline figures mask the signs of struggle to come. Certainly, the run to the GWC final was impressive, but it was very much a one off - all other cup comps were exited really very early on. And whilst they were very comfortably 4th - getting on for 20 points clear of 5th - they were pretty much the same distance from the top 2. Which puts them on target for a lower middling finish in season 2's version of qualifying. Which, in turn, emperils the primary goal of each of the qualifying seasons, which is to finish top half and qualify for the comp with the maximum rep and money the next season. So, whilst acknowledging the achievements made, there will be no laurel-resting down at the Carnage Bowl. We've a fight on our hands season 2, and it's up to us to ensure we're up to the task.




Endless turmoil, so much so that the badge is now out of date. Again. German, Dutch, now Mexican. And, knowing the meddling nature of the board at the Onions (i.e. me), there's probably no guarantee that this nationality will stick. Pretty much every knockout competition taken too literally and knocked out of as early as possible. Money thrown down the drain. But, despite all that, League Champions! A fine run of form over the last few games, coupled with stuttering form by the other challengers, saw the Onions surge through the field to take the title. Against all manner of odds, too.


(pretend computer) Football. Bloody hell.

Academy Hatchlings/New Signings Round-up

Defenders

37. Srdjan Radovic (DR)
Not looking good for the 16 year old right-back, showing 1.5 stars of potential at 40% of assessment. The bin would be calling if it weren't for the fact that Nedeljko looks equally dismal.

41. Sasa Vaskovic (DC)
15 year old Sasa is the most recent hatchling, and prospects don't look good. Reasonably far down the pecking order for DCs and not as yet exhibiting the skills or potential to move him up said pecking order.

39. Zeljko Medjedovic (DC)
16 year old Zeljko is one of those ahead of Sasa, a burly, strong and canny centre half.

2. Radivoje Golubovic (DR)
A real player, but back with Transfermarkt.co.uk due to apparent obscurity. 19 and snaffled for £15.7k from free agency, Raddy has the abilities and the prospects to take over from Boggers at DR fulltime in the first team at some point in the near future.

3. Vuk Martinovic (DL)
Another real player with the same Transfermarktitis as Raddy. Also like Raddy, he has everything needed to take over in the first team in time (this time on the left, replacing Burak the Turk if/when he goes). A year older than Raddy at 20, but a similar fee from free agency. Not sure what's going on with the pic, blame Google Image Search.

17. Zarko Tomasevic (DC)
20 year old giant defender, Montenegrin U21 international and currently plying his real life trade in Portugal for CD Nacional. Snaffled from free agency for £19k, we have big hopes for young Zarko.

12. Nemanja Janicic (DC)
Another giant defender (we breed our DCs big here on the Black Mountain), 23 year old Nemanja is currently flitting in and out of the first team, deputising for "Uncle" Vanja Dzaferovic. That's Nemanja on the floor in the pic, apparently.

Midfielders

40. Vladimir Kovac (AMLC/FC)
Tiny Montenegrinling from the academy, unimpressive initial assessment, not bright green in any position we currently play. Prognosis: grim to released.

10. Simon Vukcevic (AMLC)
The big one. All £35k wage and £875k MV of him. Although, if I'm perfectly honest, I might have thought twice had I known about his sartorial preferences BEFORE he unlocked. Still, a goal and an assist every third game so far is none too shabby. Our biggest, baddest signing to date, it could be argued that Simon is a luxury the team could do without. Do I care? Do I buggery. Shove THAT in your football pipe and set fire to yourself.

Meet the Strathcarnagers Part 3 - the Forwards

29. Aleksandar Djokovic (AMRLC/FC)
Good old Transfermarkt.co.uk has an odd idea of what young Alex looks like. It's also uncertain if he has a market value - FML isn't though, a cracking 18 year old 4 star prospect, scoring over a goal a game for the U21s (much better than his record for Serbia U19s in real life).

16. Lovro Scrbec AM/FC
A 20 year old forward, Lovro has really blossomed since the sale of Veljko Vukovic (no profile, he took the money and ran), proving quite integral to the success of Alex Djokovic and giving a good account of himself in the seniors due to injuries to others.

9. Dejan Damjanovic (FC)
Clinical and ruthless, 27 year old Dejan slotted right into the team as if he had always been there (which just made his broken leg in season two even more painful. For me, was probably already quite painful for him).

11. Zelimir Terkes (FC)
He's 28, he has a beard, his sleeves are too long and it looks like he's trying to smuggle something out of the ground by sticking it up his jumper. Also on the fringes of the Bosnian national squad, and dependable member of the 'Carnage first team.

21. Darko Blagojevic (AM/FC)
16 year old product of the Carnagecademy, he graduated with a full 4 stars of potential - with a record in the youths that shows he's ready to step up should Alex move on.

24. Ivan Djokovic (FC)
Another graduate, a 16 year old striker with a confirmed 3 star potential. Due to the form of others, he finds himself playing second fiddle (talented chap) even at youth level, but we're cautiously optimistic for his future here at the Carnage Bowl.

19. Milos Zeljinovic (FC)
Likes the strikers, does the Carnagecademy. 15 and carrying a full 3.5 stars of potential, Milos has the predatory instincts to suggest he could make the out and out striker role his own when he matures.

38. Marjan Jovanovic (FC)
Not a graduate, but 15 year old striker picked up from free agency. Competing with Milos for the same position, keeps them both on their toes.

Coming up, an academy hatchling round up since the end of Season 1.

Meet the Strathcarnagers Part 2 - The Mids

So yes, Midfielders. Would have been done sooner, but Photobucket was being a right fanny.

Midfielders

11. Nikola Drincic DM/MC
The man, the myth, the legend, the rocket powered freekicks. Okay, so most of them just decapitate someone standing in the wall, but they look good when they work. Alternating between MC and DM, the 25 year old had a tremendous first season, scoring 5 and providing 22 assists in his 40 official games (averaging comfortably over 7). A key part of the Montenegrin future, he also studied Advanced Pointing under Bruce Dickinson, as can be seen in his photo.

4. Aleksandar Petrovic (DM)
That might be a picture of our Alex, or it might be another one with the same name, hard to tell. A tough tackling 27 year old DM - a little too tough tackling at times, nasty habit of getting booked and then sent off - Alex was another who averaged over 7 on the run to the GWC Final. Has found himself pushed out a little following Drincic's move to DM following other signings, but definitely has a future for another season at least.

7. Mehmed Alispahic AMRC
The 22 year old Bosnian midfielder (master of kung-fu football by the looks of it) was something of a revelation in the first season, seeing off Milos Bosancic (all the way to another club) and defying the odds to more or less nail down a first team spot, making 34 official appearances, averaging over 7 and chipping in with 10 assists. Recent signings have put his place under further threat, but knowing Mehmed he'll just up his game. Would take a big offer to prise him away from the Carnage Bowl.

27. Stefan Ilic (AMLC)
Young Stefan (20) progressed above expectations in his first season. Signed primarily to be a bit of exeperience in an otherwise young youth set up, he has come off the bench to some effect for the seniors, with 3 goals from his 8 appearances (4 of them as sub). A tremendous prospect, smothered in green arrows and with double digit attributes pretty much across the board, Stefan is another likely to be around for a while despite his Serbianity. Oh, that's a picture of one of Zlatan Ibrahimovic's cars. Came up on a Google Image search for "Stefan Ilic Football" for some reason.

36. Eldin Stanic (AMRC/FC)
Despite having been around since the start, I'll have to bow to the Internet's greater knowledge and accept that little 15 year old Eldin is a regen. Progressing well though, with dependable U21 performances against players generally a fair bit older than him (have only just assembled the younger levels of team for competition). Another flying the Bosnian flag for Strathcarnage, and unlikely to move without a hefty cash incentive (for me).

25. Novica Jovicevic (AMRC)
Novica is definitely a regen, having arrived from the Carnagecademy with an initial assessment of 2.5 stars of potential. Now showing 3.5 stars at 92%, he's been putting in the performances to justify it, scoring some lusty goals along the way. Averaging way over 7 across his U21 season (not bad for a 16 year old playing against big, mean 21 year olds), Novica should be ready for the step up to 1st team squad in a couple of seasons.

26. Srdjan Pejovic (DM)
Srdjan was snaffled from the transfer market for £75k. Possibly over the odds, but young (15) DMs with solid attributes were few and far between (of course the Academy hatched one the very next day, but no matter). Capable and feisty, Srdjan will be left to ripen in the youth set up for a few seasons now (previous club had been playing him 1st team, no doubt in an effort to get his MV up. We'll have none of that malarkey here, thankyouverymuch).

26. Ivan Suskavcevic (DM)
And the next day, out popped Ivan from the Academy Hatchery. A year older than Pejovic, and not as talented, he's nevertheless some welcome youth DM cover.

Next up: Forwards. Then a catch up on Academy hatchlings and a big signing!