Alas, that is to be the last time an entry concerning Onion Terror FC will be prefaced with that badge. See, it all started last night, about the time Arjen "I run like a bid bald girl" Robben deftly shattered my beloved United's European dreams for another season. Cracking game, great entertainment, and well, if we were going to go out, I'd rather we went out with that approach and attitude. But, that's beside the point. We lost to a German team. A team from Germany. Granted, it was FC Hollywood and not the rather more dignified and likeable Borussia Mönchengladbach on which the Onions were themed, but all the same I'm sure you can see what's coming next...
Well, what is football for if not irrational, emotional, foolish reactions to things? In the spirit of be entertainingly daft, the Onion Terror board decided that, in the circumstances, it simply wouldn't be appropriate to maintain the current levels of Germanity in the club. And, entirely ignoring the fact it was Arjen Robben who indiviudally brought the crisis about, they decided to further infuriate the FML computer representations of footballers by wholeheartedly embracing the clog-wearing, caravan-towing, totaal voetball playing nation of the Netherlands.
Mad, innit? Fun though - the Dutch colonisation of the Terror has begun already, although the sheer amount of current and prospective squad alterations is best saved for another post. Oh, it's staying as Paul Breitner's Beard, by the way. 70's German football is exempt. Besides, Rob Rensenbrink's Giant Nose or Ruud Krol's Amusing Chunky Sweater aren't quite as snappy.
Goodbye to the Gunter Netzer Stadion, hello to the Afweergranaat Arena. Goodbye to bringing wingbacks back in a very 1990 5-3-2, hello to all pressing, all action, Totaal Voetball 4-3-3. Goodbye to current lofty league position too I expect, but no matter - fortune favours the brave (and football decapitates the mad, possibly), onwards and upwards, wearing clogs!
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Up the Windmills!
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